Independence should be learned early, help your child with it! Always helping may be sweet, but it is of little use. We know this from experience. If too much help is given, especially with homework, the child relies on it and doesn’t try hard at all. That is really the case. Children like to be comfortable too!
Or else, your child simply seeks your closeness. Of course, you should not reject this need harshly. In this case, it is sufficient if you make it clear to your child that he or she should work alone for the time being. If, for example, he or she has not made any progress in half an hour, you will of course be happy to help. Or you can hold out the prospect of some time together. This could look like this: “If you are finished in half an hour, we can play a game or go outside. So your child has the time together as a goal and will make an effort to get it.
Here are a few tips on how to educate well for independence:
- First, let your child try to solve difficult tasks by himself. Of course, he will get help, but please not if he hasn’t even dealt with the task yet.
- If he doesn’t get on, please ask him exactly WHAT he doesn’t understand. Often it is a small fine thought knot, which is then loosened even while questioning. Proceed step by step:
- The child tries to explain the task in his own words.
- The child explains exactly where he or she is getting stuck.
- The child should first try to answer his question himself. Only if he or she does not manage to do so is it your turn
Explain as objectively as possible how to proceed. But also explain to your child where he or she could have found the answer. For example, if your child has problems with technical terms, look them up in a textbook or encyclopedia. It should simply learn that it must help itself if necessary, you are not always there, especially not in school with schoolwork.
What is also often forgotten: What about classmates? We have experienced this ourselves. Every minute of free time is spent with friends. But when learning problems arise, you can’t even call them? Nonsense. That’s what friends are for! So encourage your child to seek advice from his or her friends when learning problems arise or tasks are not understood. Almost all children are happy to help and may even be glad to be able to call them when they have difficulties.
We noticed it ourselves, unfortunately it happens more often than you think that teachers explain incomprehensibly. So as good as not at all. In such cases, check with other parents in the class to see if their children feel the same way or if it’s just your child who doesn’t understand. If you notice that really bad explanations are behind the problems, then ask the teacher in the next consultation hour or by note to please explain the required tasks correctly. In this way, you will avoid your child being accused of laziness.
Teachers also like to be pointed out for mistakes, they also have to show good results at the end of the school year. So educate your child to be independent. Accepting help is important, but helping yourself first is better. You are there, make this clear to your child, but you also want them to become an independent person who can cope well. Believe us, properly explained, your child will gladly accept it that way.