Especially when it comes to homework and learning, they tend to arise: conflicts. Parents often put their children under unnecessary pressure. But you have to know: Firstly, there is always counter-pressure, and secondly, you are guaranteed not to help your child this way. So if your child has problems with learning or homework, first check the mood at home. Is it very restless? Are you burdened with problems yourself and does this create a restless mood? Are you restless or even nagging? Then please put a stop to it. You are infecting your child with your restlessness and thus disturbing his or her learning and working. Best of all, are you still putting pressure on deadlines? That’s great. Your child can’t keep up with you, you get under new stress because you are also under pressure from school, and so on. This creates a vicious circle that simply doesn’t have to be.
So be nice to yourself and take a deep breath. Then sit with your child, assuming he or she wants to do that at all. Some children prefer to learn and work alone, others like to have someone around. Please be responsive to this. If there are problems – whether it’s homework or studying – simply being calm will help. Do some soul-searching:
Don’t be so strict, acknowledge that your child is developing and just like you, he has the right to make mistakes. As we all know, you learn from mistakes!
Don’t be unfair and don’t dump any of your problems on your child. If you had a stressful day, it’s not your child’s fault.
Above all, take a good look in the mirror: Does your child have to succeed for your sake because you might be afraid that failure will reflect on you? Then please don’t do that either. Your child is learning for itself. Not for you, not for daddy, not for grandma. You are there to support your child in the best possible way and, above all, to do so lovingly!
It is simply a matter of not dumping any stress or pressure on your child. Just avoid it. It already has enough stress, be sure of that. So if you absolutely don’t have the nerve to help, say so, but please do so kindly. Ask another family member to help with studying or chores for once today. Your child will not be angry, he will understand that it is not possible today. Anything is better than sitting nervously with your child.
Take this time to come to terms with yourself, then your child will be done with the work and you will be fine. It’s as simple as that. Also, please always watch your choice of words. For example, if your child is sitting in front of a math formula for the hundredth time and just doesn’t get it. Under no circumstances should you say something like, “I guess you’ll never get it!”. That’s so hurtful, it goes so deep into a child’s soul. And you know what, your child will never understand it either. He thinks he’s too stupid.
So please encourage it wherever you can with loving words! Say, for example, “Well, this time you’ll remember it for sure, I know how smart you are! Your child will remember this formula this time. First, you said it without pressure, and second, you think your child is smart. That feels good, it doesn’t get any better than that! A good self-confidence is always the most important thing. Even more so when learning. A child who knows that parents always have their back will generally have fewer conflicts. Neither in homework, nor in learning, and certainly not in dealing with school and the environment.