Talent without effort does not lead to success either. How many people have talent but no success? How many have success but no talent?
Artists and athletes train hard for their success. But we don’t usually see that. They practise hard for many hours a day and later success looks easy. And it’s exactly the same at school. Especially with children, enthusiasm is often high, but perseverance is rather low. But the conclusion is not to study for many hours. It’s just that you can’t do without it either.
“I’m bored, I can’t do it, nobody wants to know that, you don’t need it anyway.” These are common sayings when it comes to learning. And then there’s the lack of success. Here are the levers that parents can use: Developing passion and perseverance is a parenting task that we often no longer really recognise.
How can this be done? Through a combination of reading, education, diligence and challenge, children develop precisely this growing self-image. That they are motivated, develop fun in challenges and keep going even when things get harder. They don’t feel threatened by challenges like the children with the fixed self-image.
Praising properly is one way. Not intelligence, but perseverance. If intelligence is praised, it puts pressure on. Conveys that this is very important and the basis of all achievements. And then comes the fear of new challenges: What if I don’t succeed? Then I am no longer intelligent? Praise should therefore be given for effort, for courage to try something new. If you praise diligence when you do well, after a defeat you simply realise that you haven’t done enough.
We parents should also consciously demand this effort. Do not always fulfil all wishes immediately and without hesitation. Without the right will, without need, there is no passion. And then the offspring are also not willing to make an effort when everything else is easy.
We want them to enjoy a good life. Take the pressure completely off. Effort is then not necessary. The small steps are decisive for the children. Pressure without excessive demands. Successes on the way to the goal, encouragement, sticking with it, constantly. For example, with a challenge of the week: achieve a small feat every week. Then you get used to increases and a growing self-image. And then the motivation will also work.